Interpersonal conflicts can happen anywhere and anytime as long as there are interactions between two or more parties. More often than not, interpersonal conflicts occur as a result of different interests, beliefs and personalities of various parties.
I had the opportunity to work at my alma mater as a Teaching Assistant (TA) while I was waiting for University to start. It was a good opportunity to gain an insight to the teaching career and at the same time, contribute back to the school.
Basically, my job scope would entail relieving classes for teachers who were absent on that day, preparation of teaching materials and handling of some administrative work with regards to the school curriculum. However, at times, I may be tasked to accompany exchange students on excursions or to do some preparation work for the activities for the exchange students.
There came a period where there were many inbound exchange programmes. The coordinator for the exchange programmes then tasked me with accompanying quite a few groups of students in a day till my schedule was almost fully packed. At this point in time, I felt the need to tell the coordinator that I am not able to accompany the groups as I had to stand-in for lessons (assigned at the last minute) and continue the tasks assigned by my supervisor. (just some information for a better understanding of the situation: accompanying exchange students was not a main part of my job scope and my supervisor only instructed me to help out if I had the time).
There were many thoughts that were running through my mind at that point in time. Firstly, I really wanted to help as I wanted to showcase and promote my school to the exchange students as I felt really proud to be part of the school. Secondly, I had to reject the coordinator, but how was I suppose to do that when I had already agreed to help but could not do so at the last minute. At last, I went up to the coordinator and explained to her my situation. She was rather displeased at first but just told me to keep to my promises in the future.
Upon hearing that, I had mixed feelings - happy that I finally managed to resolve the issue but sad that she did not take into consideration my difficulties while I rejected her.
I believe that the above case is a good example of a typical conflict in a workplace -- being sandwiched in between two parties. On one hand, I did not want to reject the coordinator, however, on the other hand, I had obligations by my supervisor to be fulfilled. It will not be pleasant if I had brought the matter up to my supervisor which would result in a deeper and uncalled misunderstanding between them and affecting work relations in the future.
I believe that I was partly at fault to commit to helping out with the exchange in the first place. However, I was also hoping that the coordinator was able to consider my difficulties for not being able to help her. But that being said, I do understand her reasons for feeling displeased as she was tight on manpower and there were a lot of exchange groups to be hosted. On hindsight, an alternative way of handling the situation would be to seek permission from my supervisor to help host the exchange students. In this way, there will be a common consensus between all parties and it will reduce the chances of a conflict.
To sum it up, interpersonal conflicts are inevitable and they can occur as a result of a small issue. Interpersonal conflicts in workplace and life are part and parcel of growing up. Through the process of resolving conflicts, both parties will be able to grow and gain a better understanding of each other.
Do you have any instances when you were sandwiched in between two parties? How did you manage them?
Hey, Wei Pin,
ReplyDeleteI also relief taught at my alma mata after my "A" Levels, as well! So, I actually know what you have been through to a slight extent. :) before moving on to answer your question, let me just share my two cents' worth on your interpersonal conflict.
Firstly, you should have no qualms about going to take the relief class as technically, it is within your job scope. However, I am not saying that tending to the exchange students is not within your job scope since you have agreed to help your teacher out with attending to them. Objectively, it is always wise to finish whatever that has been rightfully assigned to you before moving on the any extra work that your (future) colleagues will be asking you to help with. Hence, your teacher should understand where you were coming from with such a valid and legitimate reason.
Secondly, the class that you were assigned to could have been a class which you assigned before or even be a subject that you could help them with. This, would mean that if you were to relief them again, they would be more familiar with you in terms of teacher-student relationship and subject matter and knowledge, than any other random teacher who walks into the class plainly to assign them work, make sure they keep quiet instead of running along the corridor and do not break school rules. Considering the number of students you might benefit instead of accompanying the exchange students, as an educator (whether temporary, relief or permanent) you should be proud and happy to be able to make such changes.
Sorry for the digression, if any! Now back to your question! :) I actually am in a situation right now where I am the middle man between one female and one male friend, where they are experiencing some relationship problems. They have certain messages and intents that each party wishes to convey to each other, however, they have their own set of difficulties which makes them hesitant about speaking to each other and clearing things up. So these few weeks, I have been shuffling between these two parties to talk and getting information.
As of now, I have to filter the content and choose what and how I say to each of them as there are some things in which they do not wish to say, while some things they indirectly hint to me to tell the other party. Aside from choosing and knowing what to say to people, you could also turn something bad that someone said into something more neutral and less malicious, without changing the meaning. For example, one of them said "I don't even think he wants to be friends with me." Instead of copying and pasting what she said to him, I modified it into "She definitely wants to be friends with you but isn't sure if it is the same for you", hoping that it sounds less angry and sharp.
The next thing to take note is isn't to take side and stay neutral the whole time. One of them actually told me that he was slightly unhappy with me spending so much time with the other party as he felt that I could end up taking side, which I did not and have not taken any, so far. :) in all, I feel that what ever decisions you make, so long as you have considered the consequences and prioritise the importance of every action, you have made the right decision. The next thing is to of course think through how you are going to broach the subject. This should of course be done with discretion and sensibility after considering the feelings.
I hope I have given you an insight to a possible future conflict. Thanks for sharing your situation!
Alissa